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Uniquely Designed

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I am an oddball. 

It’s true, I am and always have been, just outside of the “normal” realm of society.  I know, I know, you are having a difficult time fathoming this.  I think growing up the way that I did made me feel like an outsider, I always wanted to be part of the kids who seemed to have the perfect family.

I didn’t realize in my youth that there are no perfect families.

It was given a blessing though.  My experiences growing up gave me a different lense with which to observe the world.  Watching the sorrow my mother experienced living with a man incapable of managing his anger and addiction, has given me a very tender heart and a great wealth of empathy from which to draw.  Had you asked me in my teen and early twenty years if I would ever be grateful for the difficult times, the weirdness of “me,”  I would have said emphatically…..

“NO!”

As I have grown, I have been able to embrace my path, and to really feel comfortable in my own shoes.  I no longer feel a need to be a certain way for the world to see, I can just be me and be okay with it.

Now, people see me and draw so many conclusions.  I was at the top of my class in college, and tested at the top of the nations entering teachers, but I quit before student teaching.  I was 16 hours, one semester away.  For most people, this is completely absurd, a waste, something to not even be considered comprehensible.  That’s okay.  I think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  Whew, am I thankful that my husband supported me on that one. Not everyone felt so supportive and understanding.  It wasn’t normal, it was crazy, how could I do such a thing.

When I got off the bus towards a life I didn’t really want, I jumped on the express to a new life.  One that would take me closer to my creator, one that would repair my marriage and strengthen it to the amazing-ness that it is now.  I began to follow a passion that I never could have dreamed for myself, and feel like in a very small way, I have made the world a little better. 

I love being a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom.  I love it.  Most people are lamenting towards the first week of August, hoping that their little people hurry off to school, and that’s cool…..no, judgement here, I often wish there were days off like that to.  However, for the most part, I love learning and teaching.  There is a lot of content out there that I was never exposed to in 16 years of formal education, so many interesting things, and now we get to dive all in.

One of the best things I learned in college was that you can learn anything.  Aside from biblical information, I believe this is one of the greatest things a person can know.  You can learn anything.  I love it!  Before going into and education major, I tried psychology, nursing (wanted and still do some day to be a midwife), business, social work, and communications.  I love to learn, I should have just bought and read the textbooks though, saved the money.  So, if it makes me a nerd to be a fan of always learning something new, so be it. 

I have created mini nerdlets as well….look out world, oddballs coming your way! 

I hope they embrace their nerdly intellect, I hope they stand strong in their love for God, and in the unique way that they approach life. 

My life revolves around being a wife, mom, and homemaker.  Whoa! Does that draw scrutiny or what? The job of a homemaker has often been mocked, a movement was created to diminish the importance of homemaking, and it was wildly successful.  Women rushed off in search of meaning, of purpose, of something more than just cooking and cleaning.

I’m about to tell you something that really makes me an oddball.

I LOVE being a homemaker.  No, I’m not overly organized, my house is not exactly “eat off the floor clean,”  but it is a home that is lived in.  I love to create meal lists that will nourish my family, that stay in budget, and cook meals that will grow little people into strong adults.  I love learning about herbs and how they can benefit our family.  Cloth diapering little ones was such an out there idea nine years ago, but I’ve learned how to be a cloth diapering mama yoda.  I’ve learned how to clean with less chemicals, how to milk a goat, how to make my own soap, how to knit, how to sew, how to crochet, how to garden, etc…etc…etc…

Everything I do in my home from knitting someone a sweater to wiping a butt is a way to serve my God, and that is how I embrace my differences.  I know that I’m different from the mainstream.  I know that my family is different.  However, I also know that I am doing what I was called to do, and that being like everyone else is boring anyway.  There are magazines and websites out there making millions of dollars telling women how all be the same.  They tell you how to manage yourself, how to be in style, how to talk, what to read, etc. 

I’m just not one of the following.  Sometimes it’s a lonely place, but only for a brief few seconds when all five of my children are sound asleep and my husband is at work.  I think a lonely place of difference where the Lord can instruct and grow in my person is a benefit.  Instead of worrying about fitting in and measuring up to what man deems worthy, I can focus on something that really matters.  I can focus on my eternity.

This life only lasts so long, why spend it trying to fit into someone else’s mold?

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