I’m going to be completely honest with you guys, I used to be a little creeped out by online dating. It was strange to think that a person could meet their spouse online, without ever meeting and fall in love, via a computer! How is that even possible? Could you truly and really love someone you had never physically laid a finger to?
I know how it is possible now though.
You see, I have fallen in love online…..
Now wait ya’ll, I am not implicating that I’m leaving my amazing best friend/handsome hubby/soul mate and scooping up some fresh piece of male meat off of the internet…no, definitely not!
I have fallen in love, a tender, wonderful, mother heart kind of love with this little girl. Her pictures are changing each week, she is growing through our screen on Friday afternoons. We are seeing those little infant features, that follow a baby into toddlerhood disappear, with what always happens at this age, when the preschool sized little human presents itself. She is drifting into a new age and time of life, without me.
Together, our little nuclear family (plus my two sisters who rock socks) have been cheering through the progress we have seen of weekly photos. Glory has made leaps and bounds of progress, without me. She is facing a major surgery, and I am pained to think of her not having me there. I am fearful for the high statistics of infection rate, I just long to wrap my arms around her, and have her safe here. She needs a mom and dad. I feel like I am her mom, and there is this uncertainty looming over our heads of when we will get to be together. I know we will though, and I know that it will be all but a memory once we are, this looming anticipation and anxiety over the wait.
And then I feel sadness. Where is her birth mom? Did she die, was she sick and could not care for Glory, did her special needs present more than they could afford? All of that breaks my heart. For I love her birth mom as well….someone I’ve never met, never seen a picture of, and probably will never be in the presence of.
How do you explain to someone who has never been in this situation, just how much you can love a person whom you have never met?
I suppose I’ll just tell them it’s kind of like online dating 😉 oh or maybe facebook friendships…….