I truly believe that God called me to be a mother. I’ve always been motherly, my own mother gets mothered by me…I’m sure she loves that 😉 I have always loved children, and from a very early age planned to adopt, I just never planned to get married.
Thankfully God planned for me to get married to a wonderful man who would make me a mother. Not only did he give me a beautiful boy, he helped me to save two little beautiful people from across the world, and then gave me another beautiful baby. I’m lovin’ on her right now.
Yes, I believe God made me a mother as my calling. He did not make it a comfy calling. I never thought I would struggle as a mom like I have over the last six years. I thought if I put in all of my effort, things would just go “normal” like, and all would be cozy and well with the world. He called me to mother some very unique people.
Those people require endless stores of energy, creative thinking, love, and PATIENCE. Oh and a whole heaping of empathy. I find myself constantly forced to empathize in order to not jump off the deep end. You see, apparently, according to a lady at the park, my kid is weird.
The one who doesn’t give a second thought to his surroundings thus coming off rude or aggressive? The one who starts convulsing and giggling when she sees anyone make eye contact with her and making goo and ga sounds really loud at them? Oh or the one who could run up to you (not ever having seen you in his life) and hug you and not let go and is just so conveniently crotch height to everyone that it is almost always awkward. Then oh do you mean the fat one in the carrier wearing a cloth diaper?
Yes, I’ve had some not so nice comments about each of them (except for that last one she’s new and all). John and I work hard with the kids trying to teach them how to be appropriate around others. Unfortunately it isn’t easy peasy. We have to prepare Andy for different social situations where what he says or does might come off as just down right awful. He’s learning quickly though. With Anna and Tanner, it’s a whole other ball game. We have had to make it a standing rule now that they can only shake hands with people other than mom or dad. Do you know what that means?
We have to be jerks when it comes to visits from family and at church.
But our kids do not distinguish between family and total strangers. I mean they barely tell the difference between John and me. In fact Anna stopped following John at the store and started following a 6ft 300lb older gentleman who also happened to be of another race. She was completely unaware that it wasn’t her Daddy. Total strangers do not want to be accosted. I know this, we’ve been dealing with it for two years. People can get mad.
Holidays, visits, outings, and meals are all challenging for us. One of my children has absolutely no impulse control and needs to be within arms reach at all times. We start out every morning trying to allow this child some freedom (’cause mommy wants them to be free to play and have fun), but it seems almost to much for this child to handle and they become destructive. The same goes for when we visit or are out. This child has to be within arms reach. This child can be well behaved and in control of themselves within arms reach, but any further and they unleash the beast. Oh and this child does unleash that beast frequently throughout the day, but unfortunately 5 minutes after getting diciplined they have forgotten what has happened, and are being sweet as pie within arms reach. Most people don’t know that. Most people think I’m a jerk for not allowing my kids to run free.
I WISH I could. More than anything I WISH I could just let the kids be kids. I pray for it, hope for it, and try all kinds of things to make it happen.
Some of them can’t cope with that though.
So I am stuck in uncomfortable situations daily. Forced to be a jerk.
Oh well. I’m not storing up my treasures on earth waiting for everyone to give me verbal praise and reassurances. I’m not trying to be the most liked. I have to do what I do, we have to parent like we parent, and we can’t make apologies for that. God just did not call me to a comfy life.
I’m finally okay with that.
Oh, and my kids are not weird, they are uniquely designed by a God who has a purpose for them.